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A dining room does not need to stay formal to look considered. Nate Berkus’s approach is to design it around the way your household actually eats, talks and hosts, then keep enough structure that it can still be dressed up for a special occasion. Comfortable seating, a table suited to the room, a place to linger after dessert, layered lighting and practical storage turn an untouched room into one you use.
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The method comes from Berkus’s Architectural Digest excerpt from Foundations: Timeless Design That Feels Personal, published November 18, 2025. His central test is simple: “It is more important, I think, that a dining room is used.”
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Should a dining room always be formal?
No. Formality is a setting, not the room’s permanent identity. If your dining room is used only a few times a year because the chairs are hard, the table is too precious or the room feels disconnected from the rest of the home, its decoration is working against you. Berkus argues that everyday comfort is the better starting point; a table can be set with fine linens and candles when guests arrive without requiring the room to feel ceremonial every day. Architectural Digest’s November 2025 excerpt quotes him saying that an unused dining room is a missed opportunity.
That does not mean removing all formal elements. A tailored chair, a polished table, a mirror or a strong light fixture can provide visual order. The change is to balance those elements with upholstery, softer textures and a layout that supports ordinary meals as well as celebrations.
Start with how your household really uses the room
Before buying furniture, describe a normal week rather than an imaginary dinner party. The answers determine almost every later decision.
- Count everyday diners. Include the people who eat there most often, not just the maximum number you might host.
- Record the largest gathering you genuinely have. Decide whether that is a few additional relatives or a long holiday table. This is the capacity your room must handle occasionally, not necessarily the size it should occupy every day.
- Notice what happens after eating. Do people remain at the table for conversation, move to the sofa, or make coffee in another room? Your plan should provide a comfortable destination for that transition.
- List the equipment you need nearby. Serving platters, table linens, candles, glassware and seasonal pieces need a home. If they are stored far away, setting the table becomes a chore.
- Identify the room’s constraints. Note whether it is long and narrow, nearly square, open to a living area or interrupted by doors and windows. Furniture must leave a clear path through those openings.
This audit prevents a common mistake: choosing a dramatic table for a rare event and then living with an awkward arrangement every day.
Choose seating for comfort first, then compose the mix
Berkus’s most practical instruction is to sit in a dining chair before buying it. A photograph cannot tell you whether the seat edge presses into your legs, whether the back supports you through a long meal or whether the chair tucks under your table. Test the chair at the table height you will use and stay seated long enough to imagine dinner and conversation.
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He also recommends judging how the chairs look together rather than treating every seat as an isolated purchase. A room can combine more structured chairs with softer pieces:
- Armless, high-backed chairs: Their vertical lines read as more formal and they can fit more people along a table because there are no arms to collide.
- Fully upholstered chairs: They feel less effortful and more relaxed, especially when meals routinely become long conversations.
- Benches or banquettes: An upholstered bench can soften the architecture of a room and accommodate people of different sizes. A built-in banquette also uses a wall edge that might otherwise be wasted.
- A small settee: This gives one side of the table a lounge-like quality without turning the dining area into a separate living room.
One useful composition is architectural chairs on one side and an upholstered banquette or bench opposite. The contrast keeps the setting from looking like a matched conference set while giving everyday diners a softer place to sit. Keep a few spare chairs available for the larger gathering rather than forcing the daily layout to serve the maximum all year.
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Comfort is not a luxury detail. Berkus’s quoted warning is that “Uncomfortable seating is almost worse than bad food.” Treat that as a use test: if guests begin standing, leaning against walls or abandoning the room immediately after eating, the seating or the post-meal plan needs attention.
Match the table shape to the room and the gathering
Choose the table only after you understand the room’s proportions and your usual group size. Berkus distinguishes round and oval tables from rectangular ones by the kind of gathering and circulation they encourage.
| Table shape | Where it tends to work | What to consider |
|---|---|---|
| Round | Intimate, casual meals; rooms that benefit from a softer center | Everyone can see one another, and the shape can break up a rectangular room. Check that pulled-out chairs do not block a doorway. |
| Oval | Casual gatherings that need a longer surface | It keeps the conversational quality of a round table while extending capacity along the room’s axis. |
| Rectangular | Narrow rooms, larger groups or more formal occasions | The long sides can support more diners and separate conversations. Leaves can increase capacity for occasional hosting. |
Plan for two numbers: the everyday number of diners and the maximum number you host. A rectangular table with leaves may be the most adaptable choice when the room is narrow and holiday meals are occasional. A round or oval table can be better when the room is broad enough for circulation and most meals involve a small group. Do not size the tabletop to the biggest possible party if the expanded arrangement would make everyday movement difficult.
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Design the moment after dinner
A dining room can fail even when the meal itself works if there is nowhere to go afterward. Ask where guests will sit with coffee or tea, and create that landing spot inside or immediately beside the room. Berkus suggests a window seat or chairs around a small table for this purpose.
If people stay at the table
Prioritize chairs with supportive backs and enough softness for extended sitting. Keep the center of the table clear enough for cups and conversation after plates are removed. A dimmable overhead fixture can shift the atmosphere from meal to lingering without moving everyone.
If people move away from the table
Place two comfortable chairs, a settee or a window seat where guests naturally travel. A small occasional table gives coffee cups a surface without adding another full dining table. The destination should be visible from the meal so the transition feels intentional rather than like an evacuation to another room.
If the room has multiple jobs
Use movable seating and a table that can clear for homework, games or wrapping gifts. Keep the primary circulation route open and store extra chairs where they can be retrieved quickly. Flexibility is more useful than a permanent formal arrangement that is perfect for only one event.
Layer lighting for meals, conversation and atmosphere
The main fixture should not have to provide every kind of light. Berkus recommends considering how the overhead fixture will interact with candlelight and using wall sconces to wash the walls with a softer glow. Candles then add warmth at the table rather than serving as the room’s only illumination.
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- Ambient layer: A central pendant or chandelier establishes the room’s overall focus. Choose its position and scale in relation to the table, not an empty ceiling center.
- Wall layer: Sconces distribute a gentle wash across vertical surfaces and reduce the stark contrast created by a single bright fixture.
- Table layer: Candlesticks or small rechargeable lamps create a lower, warmer point of light during dinner.
This is design guidance, not a technical lighting standard. The practical test is whether diners can see their food and one another, whether the room remains comfortable after the plates are cleared and whether candlelight complements rather than competes with the main fixture. Put the layers on controls that can be adjusted independently if your wiring allows it.
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Serving pieces should be part of the design brief. A shallow cabinet can hold linens, candles and smaller entertaining supplies without taking the floor area of a full sideboard. Berkus’s article mentions a minimum depth of five inches for this type of cabinet; treat that as his design suggestion for shallow storage, not a universal construction requirement. Measure the actual objects you plan to store, including their handles and packaging, before ordering cabinetry.
Storage can also provide display space. A cabinet with a considered top surface gives you a place for a lamp, a bowl or a small arrangement while keeping the table clear. If the room is tight, use wall-mounted or built-in storage on a wall that does not interrupt chair movement.
Layer the visual field vertically. Berkus points to a reflective surface such as a gilded mirror, taller furniture, or a large artwork or mirror to vary heights. Reflection can brighten a dim room and make a compact dining area feel deeper, but place mirrors where they reflect something pleasant rather than a cluttered service zone.
Choose finishes with maintenance in mind. Dark or small-pattern fabrics can disguise everyday wear more effectively than pale, solid upholstery. That does not eliminate cleaning; it simply makes normal use less visually alarming between cleanings. Select fabrics you can maintain with the methods recommended by their manufacturer, and consider removable seat cushions when practical.
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Keep the room ready for both Tuesday and a celebration
The strongest version of this approach has two settings. On an ordinary day, chairs are easy to pull out, the table is mostly clear and the lighting is warm enough for a quick meal. For a celebration, the same room can receive a cloth, polished serving pieces, additional chairs and brighter table lighting.
Build that adaptability into the furniture:
- Use a table with leaves if extra capacity is occasional rather than daily.
- Keep spare chairs in a nearby closet, hall or another room where they can be carried in without dismantling the arrangement.
- Store table linens and serving pieces close to the dining area so setting up does not require a long trip through the house.
- Choose an upholstery pattern and color that can withstand the household’s normal level of use.
- Leave enough open floor for chairs to move and for guests to reach the after-dinner seating.
Formality then becomes an action you take for an event, not a barrier that is present every day.
A practical layout sequence
Use this order when changing an existing room so an attractive purchase does not create a circulation problem.
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- Place the everyday table. Center it on the usable area, not automatically on the architectural center of the ceiling. Walk around it with chairs pulled out.
- Test the maximum setup. Add the table leaves or extra chairs you would use for your largest realistic gathering. If that blocks a door, reduce the daily footprint or choose a different shape.
- Try seating in person. Sit in candidate chairs at the table. Check back support, seat pressure, arm clearance and whether the mix looks balanced from the room’s main viewpoints.
- Locate the post-meal landing spot. Put a settee, window seat or pair of chairs where guests naturally move, with a small surface for cups.
- Reserve storage. Measure platters, linens and candles, then assign a cabinet, drawer or shelf before buying decorative accessories.
- Set the light layers. Confirm that the main fixture, sconces and candles can work together at the times you actually eat.
- Style last. Add the mirror, art, textiles and centerpieces only after the circulation and comfort tests pass.
What Berkus’s own project illustrates
Berkus’s official portfolio entry for a 1930s Upper East Side apartment describes a formal home updated into a layered, lived-in environment, including a dining and lounge area with a built-in banquette. The Central Park East project page is useful as a visual example of combining dining and lounging functions, not as proof that every home needs the same plan. The transferable idea is to let architecture, upholstery and circulation support one another so the dining area feels connected to daily life.
Common mistakes and their fixes
- Buying for the holiday crowd: A huge table can make everyday meals feel remote. Choose for daily diners and use leaves or spare chairs for the occasional maximum.
- Choosing chairs by appearance alone: Sit in them first and test them at the actual table. Replace or add cushions only if they preserve stable support and safe clearance.
- Making every seat identical: Mix structured chairs with an upholstered bench or banquette to add comfort and visual rhythm.
- Ignoring the exit after dessert: Add a nearby coffee-and-tea seat or improve the adjacent living area so guests have a deliberate destination.
- Using one harsh light source: Combine the central fixture with wall light and candlelight, adjusting each layer for the occasion.
- Leaving serving ware homeless: Assign shallow or full-depth storage based on measured objects, not an assumed cabinet size.
- Choosing delicate surfaces for a high-use room: Select fabrics and finishes that make wear less conspicuous and that your household can maintain.
The decision in one sentence
De-formalizing a dining room does not mean making it casual by default; it means making comfort, capacity, circulation and lingering work for the way you actually live, while keeping enough flexibility to set the room beautifully when the occasion calls for it.
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